Let your voice be heard

Posted 3/7/24 @ 1530

I attended CMA from 2008 to 2012 as a Marine Transportation cadet. I was well past traditional college age and eventually had to withdraw for health reasons. I'll be the first to admit that I often had a lot of fun at CMA, but I was totally flabbergasted by the degree of racism, antisemitism, homophobia, extreme misogyny (extending far beyond failure to conform to all feminist values), and sheer outright bullying that took place there. As a straight white male, I wasn't directly affected, but I had attended a normal college before and felt extremely discomfited by the prevalent attitudes. The transgender issue wasn't quite as much on the radar back then; I can only imagine how bad it must be now.
Indeed, it appears that little has changed or improved; if anything, the situation seems to have deteriorated even further. Most of the cadets were white kids from smaller towns and suburbs throughout California, and the degree of hostility they projected towards Blacks, Latinx, Jews, Asians, and, of course, gays and lesbians was considerable. I remember thinking that people at CMA commonly spoke in ways that would have been altogether unacceptable in normal society thirty or even forty years earlier. One day on cruise, I observed a circle of a dozen guys assemble on the fantail, where they raised their fists and shrieked ""WHITE POWER."" Even worse, more than a few faculty were quite open about expressing racist sentiments and telling jokes in class, with the targets right there. This is a far cry from not being ""PC"" or from failing to be especially sensitive. In an ordinary civilian environment, this sort of behavior would have been intolerable enough, but here you were expected to put your safety and perhaps even your life in the hands of such people. The administration seemed completely at a loss for a solution.
At various times, there have been movements afoot in the State Legislature to shutter CMA, and it would not surprise me if this eventually happened. Another outcome might be to abolish the entire college/residential program altogether and convert the school into an ordinary trade school that simply trains people to obtain a license, without all the leadership, Corps, and pseudo-college ballyhoo. The place has obviously been unable to effect a successful transition to a viable university environment from the more military-style environment of decades ago.

Posted 3/7/24 @ 1521

When I was a freshman, I was molested by a peer health advisor in my dorm room. I considered him a friend and a confidant while I was going through a breakup and struggling with anxiety. I knew he was touchy, but I didn’t think anything of it. I was naive. One night, I was especially devastated about my on and off relationship, so I asked him to come talk to me. He showed up to my dorm drunk and stinking of booze. Somehow things went from a venting session to him explaining how much I turn him on then laying on top of me. I can still remember the smell of alcohol, BO, and the weight – like a ton of bricks pinning me to the ground. I froze. I didn’t want it, but I couldn’t move. He kissed me and it felt disgusting. He told me not to tell his girlfriend. I don’t remember everything, but he wouldn’t leave. After this happened, he sent me gross texts and still acted like we were friends. My boyfriend and close friends remained friends with him even though they knew what he did. I felt paranoid about men after that. Friends of mine asked me to sleep with them. I felt like a walking piece of meat. I fell into a deep depression and dropped out of school after one semester. I stayed in bed for months, too broken to function. I’m still disturbed by memories of his smell and dead weight pressed against me.

Posted 1/8/23 @ 1800

I was one of three commandants on the Western Pacific cruise that included the port visit to the Solomon Islands. I regret deeply but was truly unaware of the incident described by a 4th class cadet on this page or of the other allegations mentioned. I would have never advised a cadet to quit cruise rather than deal with an allegation of sexual misconduct. In other disciplinary cases I tried to strike a balance between the regs and youthful mistakes. In retrospect I also made mistakes. I know this sounds like an excuse but I was a recently appointed commandant and had to learn on the fly - but I know the difference between right and wrong and had I known would’ve intervened.
Commandants work in a revolving door of reassignments, resignations, and terminations. Upon return from cruise I learned a lot more about my job and CMA student life. In a planning meeting for the upcoming trans-canal cruise I literally laughed out loud when Captain Pecota said the role of commandant on a cruise was limited to shipboard “hygiene” - he had no idea. Two weeks later I was gone. You were and are amazing mariners and students and deserved better.

Posted 12/20/22 @ 2200

I am a US Navy Veteran where I served for four years and four months. This allows me to come into this story with a unique perspective and show how President Cropper's response is not in alignment with US Navy Standards (as he is a Navy Vet as well). The US Navy and the DOD on a whole are very strict on sexual assault and harassment claims. There are very similar reporting services that every command that all CSU's have only on paper. The thing is, senior enlisted personnel, E7 and above, and all officers, but especially officers O5 and above never get in trouble or punished unless the news get wind of the crime committed.
This is where Thomas Cropper comes in. Cropper retired as a Rear Admiral Lower Half, O7. Cropper has never been held accountable in his life and when attempts are made he hides somewhere off campus. I have seen him a total of five times at most this semester. On a campus this small the President should be regularly interacting with students, faculty, and staff so that they may address concerns.
Cropper doesn't and he had filled his cabinet with "yes-men" so that he always seems like he is doing something. He and his cabinet then claim victories that would have happened without him or despite admin's attempts to shut down said victories. Cropper and his staff have failed to provide for our campus, our cadets, students and faculty.
He should be immediately removed from office, denied his pension, and a full investigation should be opened on him and his administration to track every last penny and action they have done since he has come into office.
The ASCMA Board should have a vote of no confidence and demand his immediate removal and the Faculty Senate should do so as well. Thomas Cropper does not represent either the Navy Core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment; nor does he represent the Schools values that can be found on the school website. He has failed this school and he has failed his country.

Posted 12/18/22 @ 1230

Is anyone else disappointed with the response from our Faculty Senate and Associated Students? Cause I am. Don't get me wrong, both were lovely gestures and I appreciate they were made in the first place, but what is it going to take to get a vote of no confidence? Especially in at least VP McMahon?
I can understand not wanting to take on President Cropper as his retirement has been announced, but this lame duck period is not going to make anything better. So what is it going to take? Cause if the Group Chat incident didn't do it, if the various reports on the failures of our Title 9 department, if our continued lack of an on-campus Title 9 coordinator (two failed searches btw), if our failure to provide antiquate level of service (food/dining, DSO, Title 9, etc, etc, etc) are not going to do it, and if they LA Times article wasn't enough, WHAT F*C*ing will be?
When will enough be enough? I am extremely disappointed in our faculty for not taking a harder stance. We have been talking talking talking supposedly working on the kinks and creating a better Cal Maritime, but clearly that is not working. Cause we keep going backwards. All these problems come from a failure of leadership (mainly VP McMahon and Cropper's), and the bodies that are supposed to hold them accountable have yet to do so.
This includes the Faculty Senates, ASCMA, and the Chancellors Office of the CSU. So here lies my question, What is it going to take? If not now, when will we hold them accountable? Cause if once again if recent developments are not enough, what is it going to take?

Posted 12/17/22 @ 1050

I was in the dorms snuggling with my friends with benefits at the time, M. Their roommate was three feet away. In the middle of the night I was woken up by M trying to initiate sex. I told them to stop because 1) I didn’t want to and 2) their roommate was less than three feet away and had asked us to please be respectful: i.e.., don’t have sex while they are in the room and keep PDA to a minimum. You’d think it would be simple, right?
No.
They kept insisting. They kept saying how it wasn’t a big deal if we just kept quiet. I kept saying I didn’t want to and even bapped them on the forehead with my hand to stop.
They didn’t stop.
I eventually caved in to get them to shut up because I feared they would make a huge deal if I kept saying no.
This repeated once more when we visited their friends at another school. Their friends had asked us to not have sex on the couch. I had reassured them, duh, that wasn’t going to happen.
The same thing happened.
It took me two years to realize how M forced me to have sex with them. I’m not sure if they ever realized what they did, because I didn’t at the time. I didn’t know sexual coercion could be so calm and pushy. I thought it was normal in a relationship… it’s not. If you say no, for any reason, it means no.
They were a Cadet Officer at the school, so I didn’t report it. I should have. It only got worse, and I eventually had to involve the police for them to stay away from me due to other instances.
I wonder how my life would have differed had I reported it and recognize that we weren’t a good match together. Probably would have saved us a lot of pain and scars…

Posted 12/16/22 @ 0954
This writing is from a physical handwritten note found in the Lab Building / SEAS Center, on campus the morning of Dec 16th. For more context see these photos.

Cal Maritime, is this it? This is an absolute insult to women and all people on campus who have experienced sexual assault, harassment, experienced hate, have been raped, etc. We need acknowledgement for what has happened, not this. Putting out arts and crafts as a “solution” is extremely insulting.
Last year I an African-American female cadet who was texted she should be “raped and lynched” for being on this campus. I have had a male Marine Transportation professor touch myself and another female inappropriately during class. Both, like many other horrible instances, were reported to campus and I received no response.

Posted 12/15/22 @ 1350

Unfortunately, sexual assault isn't limited to just gals, it happened to me as well. I am a big guy who always went about life thinking I was immune to it when it happened to me by a much smaller gal as she trapped me in a room.
It wasn't on campus, and I was extremely shaken, but when I tried talking to people here about it, both guys and gals treated me like it was something I just had to get over. After trying to talk to someone about it, only a small select few people actually were understanding about what happened to me and it felt devastating to feel like I had to go through it almost all alone.
Even though I had plenty of evidence, I didn't even consider trying to talk to CAPS or the campus police as I've heard both first and second hand the horror stories of talking to them about an experience like this biting them in the ass.
For all the guys out there, you're not alone.

Posted 12/15/22 @ 1446
Occurred in 2011

I was DD bringing students back on campus from an off-campus party safely when a drunk classmate grabbed my face through my car window and tried to forcefully kiss me. Luckily I had another classmate in the passenger seat to pull me to safety because who knows how that could have turned out if I was alone. He was easily a hundred pounds heavier than me and at least a foot taller.
The school never suspended or expelled him. He had to apparently write me an apology letter, but I never saw it. Just stayed away from him as much as I could the remainder of my time there.

Posted 12/15/22 @ 1344

This isn’t exactly a story but maybe this can get to the right people. One of my professors is really interested and hinting at the financial discrepancies that lead to possible embezzlement/fraud from top level management. I have worked in the foundation department or the university advancement department. I have also attended the galas.
I’ve seen the crazy amounts of checks and money come into the school. I would love for someone to do a deep dive and look into the fraudulent things going on with upper level management. It is crazy that Cropper is giving himself 10% raises. This needs to be investigated.

Posted 12/15/22 @ 1342
Occurred in 2017

I had a professor (who still teaches at Maritime as far as I know!) tell me, "Even girls do well in my class." This was around the same time he told our logistics class that a woman's favorite part of the house is the kitchen.
The sexist atmosphere comes from the top down for sure. I want to commend every person that is standing up against this issue. It's too easy to fall into the trap of "It's always been like this, I can't change it."
Keep fighting the good fight. Those who follow you will have a much better Cal Maritime because of your actions. As an alum, I wish I could have had your fortitude and willingness to speak out. Thank you for coming out and speaking up.

Posted 12/15/22 @ 1339

He sends out an email saying that Cal Maritime is made up of “the “brilliant and talented cadets, staff, and faculty in the world.” How is he measuring that? There’s a mass exodus of people. Applications are way down. Doesn’t really feel like the “most brilliant and talented” are left around here.
And if he wanted to get the full story out, why didn’t he talk to the reporter and tell it instead of hiding?

Posted 7/18/22 @ 1400

Hey there Cal Maritime cadets. I graduated in class of 2019 and just met a couple cadets on my current vessel, and they turned me on to this site. Sounds like things have taken a turn for the worse at CMA, but it could be that you have all just started organizing and sharing experience better. I’m terribly proud of you. All the stories I’m reading on here are familiar; the ineptitude, the lack of care from administration, the gaslighting and failure to stand up for cadets. The refusal to acknowledge and correct the most basic of infrastructure needs, and then turning around and blaming cadets for it… often with collective punishment.
This isn’t what the industry is like. No working professional with any self-respect would tolerate this kind of behavior from their employers, especially not in a heavily unionized industry.
Unfortunately, it is what CMA is like. I came in as a working adult with some years between me and high school, and so from the beginning I could see that this was not normal, but as another current cadet has mentioned, as you get older it becomes harder or impossible to change course from something as vital as university selection.
I don’t know what to say other than encouragement, but I’m open to mentoring and to support from the outside here. I don’t want to put my contact information on this very public forum, but admins, please let verified cadets know that I’m available for mentoring and just to talk, and if there’s anything I can do for you as a former cadet, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Posted 2/2/22 @ 1645

Turn around
Look at what you see
In her face
The mirror of your dreams
Make believe I'm everywhere
Given in the light
Written on these pages
Is the answer to a never ending story

Posted 1/12/22 @ 2230

The California Maritime Academy is an excellent school to have graduated from. Being enrolled as a female student can be a different story. For reference, while I was studying at CMA, there were three support groups: one for alcohol dependency, one for smoking cessation, and one for being a woman on campus.
Male students: I encourage you to reach out to your female friends about what they have experienced. It may surprise you what they tell you.
I was sexually assaulted on the Golden Bear in my freshman year by my boyfriend at the time. I didn't report this because I didn't believe it would go anywhere. I haven't told my male friends.
Every single one of my female friends on campus has been a victim of sexual violence at some point. This is not an exaggeration by any means. I am unfortunately and completely serious when I say that every single one of my female close friends from Cal Maritime has faced sexual violence in some shape or form. There are a few male students that I know were sexually assaulted on campus as well, with one even admitting to it. His perpetrator was allowed to remain on campus.
Sexual harassment was, and likely still is, par for the course at Cal Maritime. I've gotten it from professors, whether it be in word: "What is the one thing women look for in a new house? The kitchen. It's the most important part of a house for women" – or deed: lingering stares at my chest and being singled out in class. I've gotten it from fellow students: the stares, the unwanted advancements, and the lewd comments came year after year. I can only speak in absolutes for myself, but I am willing to bet that every single female student (and many more men than are willing to admit) at Cal Maritime has experienced sexual harassment at least once. I know I've witnessed a disgusting amount firsthand.
I hope for a day when I am proven wrong.

Posted 1/9/22 (submitted 1/1/22) @ 2015

I wanted to take a moment to leave a personal note here. This is my first year at Cal Maritime, though I'm a transfer so I'm much older than my other 'freshman' counterparts. Both schools I went to before this had winter vacations for us, and from my entire school career I am well accustomed to returning after free time. And to date, it has never been an issue. I have completed one semester here, sustained a 3.8 GPA, engaged in community service, and did everything within my power to participate in the school the way they try and encourage us to. I have nine days left until I go back, and yesterday, I wasn't even thinking about it. I wish I had found a way to stay in yesterday, because this morning I realized the proximity of my return.
I spent the morning on my bathroom floor, shaking from the trepidation and anxiety of going back.
I attended an emergency therapy session, and scrolled through Instagram, where I was surprised to find a few other cadets had posted that they felt the same. So, since there has been a bit of open discussion already, here's my bit.
I'm a female cadet, and within my first month on campus, I was sexually harassed, and then assaulted. My attempts to be heard by Title IX were ignored, and I was ridiculed for expressing my feelings of vulnerability. People told me, "If you feel like that, just leave." I'll come back to this in a moment. Soon after, it came out that members of our Corps staff were engaging in incredibly abusive and toxic behavior, much to the disgust and shame of every decent and empathetic human on campus. Maybe 45% of them, then. A commandant that I held the utmost respect for was thrown out in disgrace for daring to go against the campus administration and speaking out against the actions of the cadets in leadership, and the horrible campus climate in general, because God forbid someone tells the truth about Hell Maritime. Then we saw the immaturity that campus had allowed through its gates come to a head when people intentionally vomited all over a residence hall, and then flooded it. The university response was to fine and demerit everyone on that floor, encouraging students to 'rat' on each other, and prompting more than one voice to be raised in protest, that good people were being held accountable for the actions of the bad. Directly afterwards, a wonderful and well-loved RHO had her motorcycle destroyed, defaced with anti-LGBTQIA+ terms, and more vehicles had their tires slashed. Cadets engaged in open threats to one another, going as far as to need to park their cars off campus and to be accompanied by friends for fear of physical assault, to which the campus police could unfortunately do very little. These are only a small percentage of the events of the last semester ALONE, and none of which directly involved me, but the repercussions of which were felt, magnified, by most everyone.
I have felt more dehumanized, more broken down, more abused and more downtrodden by this last semester than at any other point in my life, and I was, before coming here, the victim of an attempted murder and violent rape. So when I express to you, as a reader, that this place has caused more damage to my mind and my soul than the 350 cigarette burns on my back, the mental chaos, the months of agonizing pain and shame and countless other injuries – know that I speak from a place of one who has been the subject of true horror. I would not wish attendance here on my worst enemy, and as I realized this morning, going back to campus in nine days feels like walking to the gallows.
As aforesaid, a common response to any negative feelings about the academy is the flippant, "So just leave." I'd like to address that.
Some people come here as a true four year university, fresh out of high school, four years in and out, bare minimum, good grades, easy job placement. Fine, good. Leaving might be an option for folks who are close to that path. But others, like myself and many others I know, are here because the job placement and accompanying salaries, are a lifeline not only for ourselves, but our families. I'm here because I have to go into a field that pays me well, to take care of family members who cannot take care of themselves, to save for my future, and to cover medical costs that only increase by the year. I don't have the option to leave. I don't have the ability to quit. This place would sooner see the back of me in the coroner's van than it would by voluntarily action, and that is through no discipline or determination of my own. It is resignation. I came here beyond overjoyed to be entering the industry I dreamed of for years, ready to revitalize it, create the new era of maritime innovation, contribute everything I had with the fullest of heart and greatest of intentions, but the climate on campus both from the willing ignorance and active coverups of the administration, and from the frankly disgusting behavior of the cadets of ALL years, not only the incoming freshman and the remote sophomores, though the ratio of extreme behavior leans heavily to their side.
I'm probably 3 years older than most incoming freshman, and even from that small age gap, I can see the level of irrational and childish actions rise to what I would expect from children half their age. And that is truly what most of these people are – children, who have hidden in their parents’ homes for the last two years of their high school or community college, refused to better themselves, and came here to wreak havoc. And President Cropper not only allowed these damaged specimens of the national student population into this academy, but expects them to become, "the next leaders of the maritime industry" – only to gloss over and hide their behavior when their ineptitude oozes from duct taped cracks in this once great institution's facade?
I should not feel as though my education is a death sentence, and nor should anyone else. I should not fear rape, assault and harassment every time I leave my dorm. Our lives should not be the price we pay for entry into this industry. I will be returning to campus in nine days, and I feel every hour creeping past me, and my mind pleads with each not to go. The toxicity is systemic, the system is broken, the people are beyond the help of 'healing circles' and mindfulness exercises. The character and human kindness of the individuals attending this school should be held up to a high standard just the same as their grades and GPAs, if not more. We will only heal when we find compassion for one another, resist the urge to perpetuate hatred towards others simply because we are all living in hell. We need to follow the saying, "If you're going through hell, don't stop." We won't stop our progress, our careers or our dreams, even if it kills us here. But for goodness sake, encourage each other, give a smile or a hug to people that need it, lift up the downtrodden, unite the companies instead of waging war and practice simple human kindness- and we might have a chance.

If I learned anything from having the experience of bleeding out in a parking lot at age 16 it is this –

Life is too short.

Be kind, to everyone, because there is no guarantee of yours or anyone else's tomorrow, and it is much better to have smiles to look back on in that moment than otherwise.

With Love,
A Cadet That Cares

Posted 1/9/22 (submitted 12/28/22) @ 2000

He leaned in put a hand on my thigh, looked me in the eyes and asked if “I had ever sucked dick, because you look like the type.”

Dude… what the fuck.

I was sitting at a table with many other cadets, both upper and lower class, at the only restaurant that felt safe in the Solomon Islands. I was surrounded by others, yet still felt chillingly alone.
He was in his early thirties – a junior (a leader in the Corps at that). I was 19 and a freshman.
Two days later, when I was in the Commandant’s office literally begging them to acknowledge what had happened, I was stonewalled, silenced, and asked if wanted to just go home (meaning failing cruise) – be a quitter. I said no.
When I left the room, other cadets, freshman – my classmates – of which there were MULTIPLE, were lined up to talk as well. All victims with similar experiences to share. I just shook my head sadly.
For the rest of that cruise anytime he saw me, he would say my last name. He would draw it out, in a low gruff tone and then smirk. I remember that.

I’ll never forget it.

Posted 12/18/21 @ 1715

As a white male I never thought I would be saying this, but I am being discriminated against. Not because the color of my skin, my religion, nor my sexual preferences (I'm bisexual), or my political affiliation. No I am being discriminated against because of the simple virtue of where I live. That's right folks, I live in "The Jungle" otherwise known as the Third Floor of Upper. I ask for forgiveness if discrimination is not the "politically correct" term to call my current situation, but I know/cannot think of any other term by which to call it. Please educate me on another if there is. The fact is, I did not choose to live here. I was assigned my dorm. Assigned my room, and assigned my floor. Yet my name and reputation is being dragged through the mud because of the actions of an unidentified few. Not that I wasn't vigilant before, but since the events of last Sunday I have become afraid. Afraid of when I help running in the hallway, running water at odd times in the bathroom. Hell even last night I heard rustlings outside my door at 5am this morning and opened the door to find campus security putting my RHOs sign back together. Totally not what I was expecting to find.
This afternoon I was downstairs chilling on the couch of the 1st floor game room when two of our cadet Peer Health Educators came through with snacks. As they were putting some down one of them said to the other, "Let's give the rest of these to the second floor as those fuckers on the third floor don't deserve shit." Excuse me, but what? This is what is coming from the mouth of one of our "leaders"? Are you kidding me? Leaders don't shit on the people they're supposed to serve. They don't stand by and say nothing to stop blatant homophobic remarks either. Is this truly the best leadership Cal Maritime has to offer? Are these the leaders Cal Maritime has created? If so, something is incredibly incredibly wrong.
I am deeply ashamed by the actions of my fellow cadets here. I have never or currently wanted anything to do with the behavior of my fellow cadets. Going in so far as to report what I can/see without creating a target on my back. I greatly despise the current behavior of my fellow cadets and the general environment of Upper Res. I am sick of living in such an environment where I am constantly disrespected, victim-shamed, blamed, & powerless to do anything meaningful. Yet I wonder, has it occurred anybody to ask why the problems of alcoholism and vandalism are so prevalent? What is causing people to act out in this manner?
I will admit as much as I am angry at my fellow cadets, I do not blame them. I do not blame them for wanting to drink. I do not blame them wanting to tear this place down. I do not blame them for being stupid. Why? Because deep down a part of me wants to be like them. A part of me wants to let it all go and let loose. A part of me wants to grab the fire and pitchforks. Luckily, the angel on my shoulder has prevailed.
I've commented on here before about how Cal Maritime is systemically sick. From the admin to the core, it is rotten and need of repair. We are in need of leadership. Real leaders to not shit on those they represent and support. Real leaders do not sit on the side lines when homophonic remarks are made. Real leaders take action. Real leaders fix problems. Real leaders implement solutions, not sow divisiveness. This institution likes to victim blame and sweep things under the rug. It's time for that to stop. Cal Maritime must fundamentally change its relationship with itself, alcohol, its cadets, its environment, and more.
To those that say I should leave or push housing for accommodations, housing cannot accommodate everyone. There is more freshman in McAllister than ever, hence why I am one of the only transfers in Upper still. Plus, I do not wish to leave and live alone or with another cadet I do not know. Even with two on-campus jobs, I can barely afford to go here. Not to mention I don't have the money or time to live or work off campus. No I am not leaving. The sink may be sinking but I will not abandon it. I choose to come here and even with the issues I am facing I am choosing to stay, but I'll be dammed if I don't do something. I will not go silently into the night. I'm right here, now where are you?

Posted 12/14/21 @ 2100

Cal Maritime Community,

After talking with many faculty, staff, and students and in collaboration with the GSA, I have compiled a list of recommended feedback to give to the commandants, vice president, and dean of student affairs. Any feedback is welcome.
To add your name or to give more feedback, please email lwyzykowski62@csum.edu with your name, major, and graduating class. Faculty and staff can do the same with their title and position. I will make sure to include any feedback when I turn this in. I hope to send this in before the end of the semester, so do not delay in responding. Thank you all for your support and I look forward to hearing from you.

Respectfully,
Leah Wyzykowski
GSA Vice-President

Posted 12/14/21 @ 1030

I always feel bad writing here as part of me feels I'm taking space away from other more valuable stories. The truth is though, the incidents over the last few days here in Upper Res have pushed me over the edge and I'm beginning to wonder if I even want to be here. The ironic thing is about a month ago I was stressing out over some family drama and its financial implications wondering if I could even maintain or afford to stay here.
The fact is, I'm sick of it here. Sick of having to fight for quite literally everything. Peace and quiet, clean bathrooms, respect from my fellow cadets and my Corps leadership. I'm sick of the constant slamming and banging on doors, the mess everywhere, and to top it off the flooding of the bathroom. Seriously, who the fuck does that? I don't care if you were drunk, or thought it was funny, or whatever but something is psychologically wrong with you if you think that's acceptable. I honest just don't get it. I wish someone could explain to me how my fellow cadets think their behavior is acceptable and keep getting away with this shit. Cause I'm real tired of it. To those who say, well just report it or call it out. Well I have been, and I have the texts and calls to the duty phone to prove that. It hasn't really made a difference, and I fear retaliation if I do anything more. I already fear confrontation when I'm hounded for Quizlets or expected to help others figure things out. I like helping people, don't get me wrong, but I can't help but feel taken advantage of and shat on with everything going on. If feels like I'm constantly expected to produce with no real help or break at all.
I'm also quite over the incumbency of the admin. Since before I came here I had been lied to about parking, my transfer credits – just about everything really. I was so pissed when they went back on their word, that as a "junior level transfer" I'd be able to get a general parking pass. Their term, not mine. It was funny that they also started using "First Year Transfer" at around this time when I followed up mid-July about the pass after I had been told when I applied and accepted that I'd get one. Luckily, I was able to obtain an O-Lot pass. Love that tbh, love even more they lied about security on campus too. (I was initially told there was secure at night stationed in O-Lot). I've lost count as well how many times my credit transfer have flipped flopped between needing or not needing Government and American Institutions.
All of this is to say, I'm beginning to wonder if I truly belong here. Cause coming here I thought I had found an industry and career that I loved and something that would be able to provide me with a suitable living. But at what cost? The cost of my sanity, I guess. Maybe it's just the stress of finals, but I'm beginning to wonder if I even want to be here anymore. If it's even worth it. Cause I'm done with putting up with the bullshit. I'm done living in this hell hole. I'm done being told one thing, only for it to be another. Done with the constant, “I'll look into that or follow up” and then never hearing back. I could go on with examples and I'm sure Sophie could too as is evident by her/this page’s recent post regarding student safety (which you should go read btw).
So with all that being said, I want to know: Cal Maritime, were my expectations to high? Am I in the wrong here? Cause it's either me or this institution/industry and I don't know what to do or think anymore.

Posted 12/13/21 @ 2015

I feel the need to preface this email exchange.
Nov 10: I notified many campus leaders, namely VP Kathleen McMahon, how I felt unsafe on campus. I also filed a Title IX report following the hate speech, harassment, lack of campus response, and related goings on.
November 22nd: I had my initial Title IX meeting where I was told three bullet points of their plan to help me be/feel safer. Following the meeting, I was emailed them. It took them 12 days (two, Thur/Fri, which were Thanksgiving holiday) to come up with these. During the meeting Vineeta told me she got them from VP McMahon, but couldn't clarify further where exactly VP McMahon got them from.
Nov 23: I responded breaking down their points.
Dec 3: After 8 days with no response I bumped the email chain and Chief Gordon (Cal Maritime Police) replied. It was then I learned I was lied to by VP McMahon, and by extension Vineeta, regarding my personal health and safety on campus.
Following this (without VP McMahon actually responding to my concerns) she connected me with the interim Title IX Coordinator Jody Shipping saying we could meet Thursday or Friday. I set up a time to meet Thursday afternoon (class schedule on Friday makes it impossible) with Jody Shipper. I then learned I was once again lied to.
I was given worse than useless bullet points to keep me safe, which weren't even true. I was then lied to by VP McMahon regarding availability to meet the interim Title IX Coordinator. The Chief of Police feels he has "addressed my concerns". VP McMahon has not even responded.
If you want to get an idea of how our current leadership operates and how Title IX is treated on this campus PLEASE look further. This is simply ONE student’s situation but there are many many more.

Posted 12/11/21 @ 0815

This is written in response to the post titled “Controversy Maritime Academy“ on this page. In a similar vein, here are thoughts/a response from myself.

Holy shit no one is trying to get rid of khakis! Students are just trying to stop the discrimination and violence they've faced on campus. No one has mentioned getting rid of the khakis, let alone the uniform.
I'd be psyched if we got rid of the khaki boiler though, they made everyone on cruise look like a 1950's school janitor.

Posted 12/9/21 @ 2130

This references an email sent to all faculty, staff, and students today at 1442 from Commandant Taliaferro and Dean of Cadets Griswold. It can be found by following this link.

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me! There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain that goes on and on. Here we talk of revolution, here it was we lit the flame, here we sing about tomorrow, but our problems don't go away. I guess late is better than never and something is better than nothing, but I don't see anybody utilizing an "Inclusion center" up at the PEAC.
Although I agree with this cause, I fail to see how the designation of such a space at a place nobody will utilize is helpful. What do I know though? Good for the school for finally trying to get with the times.
As I've briefly talked about before, our infrastructure and facilities at this school are a joke. Most universities/colleges would have their "inclusion center" as part of their student union. Sadly, our "student union"/New Student Services building is under renovation and does not have space for such a center. I'm interested in seeing what their long term solution to this conundrum will be, perhaps that grass field alongside Cal Maritime Drive and in front of A Lot would make a suitable space.
I'm too tired to really care anymore anyway, thinking of leaving and going far far away.

Posted 12/3/21 @ 1230

Some of you may have seen my writings on whiteboards around campus: small wisdoms and tidings of wellbeing. Poignant thoughts from my meditations of events that I have witnessed, or discussions overheard.

I am Ghost.
I am curious.

Are your thoughts, so carelessly shared without the measure of your own judgement?

Do you reason with yourself, and others, about the right words to say – to the effect of the values you claim to support?

Do you allow your ideas and values to change with the influence of reasoned information from a credible source?

Do you believe the words and experiences of others as unique instances of a creature with a lifetime of wisdom entirely separate from your own?

Do you consider those struggles, as if they were affecting you, and provide the strength, the support, or the resources for that creature to flourish?

I do.
I am patient, forthcoming, and I build community.
I am a Keelhauler.

- Ghost
To work
To fight
I am ready

Posted 12/2/21 @ 2345

Tonight I participated in a forum put on by the DEI Council, Gender Equity Committee, and Council of Racial and Social Justice. It was a good opportunity for cadets to speak up and for various admin to listen. I'll be waiting to see what comes of it. However, I'm not really here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about the toxic & rotten system that this institution has created. A system where cadets and commandants are punished for expressing their identities and opinions. A system that lacks sufficient health (mental or otherwise) resources. A system where people fear seeking help from Title IX or CAPS. A system with crumbling roads, infrastructure, and more. A system that is fundamentally broken. Not to mention the racism, sexism, sexual assault, etc. that is rampant and apparent.
To put it simply, we need to grow up and stop pretending to be something we're not. We need to stop pretending we are the very model of a modern major Military/Maritime Academy. We're not the Army. We're not the Navy. We're not the Coast Guard. In other words, we need to prioritize a college experience over a "cadet experience". I understand that we're going for a license. I understand that we have to meet certain Coast Guard/STCW/MARAD requirements, but the current way we are doing so (aka the system) is broken. Depression, anguish, sexual repression, are rampant and spiraling out of control. It's literally killing people. Some of you might be wondering how can we can do that. How can we change Cal Maritime from a "cadet experience" to more of a college one?
Here's some food for thought (as the food from mess is almost inedible [getting better though]).
1. It is time to change our campus's relationship with alcohol. The "dry campus" has to go. As it stands currently, cadets have no option but to go off campus to be able to relax, have a drink, party, etc. Now that's not inheritably bad, but the truth is this relationship has caused a relationship where if you're going to go all out you might as well go ALL OUT. It's not healthy. It's not safe. It needs to change. We need to provide the space, climate, and opportunity for cadets to be able to safely blow off some steam. Cause currently the only way to do so it to blackout. Ironically enough, if the school were to give up an inch and give us this freedom they'd actually gain more control and power. They'd be able to regulate the time, place, and manner. Enact standard levels of enforcement, regulation, etc. Instead, they choose to turn a blind eye to the problem and then severely punish those who even dare to take a sip. Now I understand that there's a complex set of federal regulations around this, in which case we need to petition our various contacts in government to make this change. It's not like we don't have the data and proof to prove it's needed.
2. There's been a great deal of talk about how the industry sets our grooming standards and how we must adhere to its "professional standard". I laugh when I hear this, cause who the fuck cares. We're not in the industry right now, we're in school. And even if the industry does care about whether the fact you wear nail polish or have blue hair, that's just ridiculous. Regardless, if that is indeed the case Cal Maritime should be the place to set a new standard. The torch to light the way, so to speak. To not do so, especially after the wake of all this is a missed opportunity for this institution. Cal Maritime cannot be the "maritime institution of the world" if doesn't recognize that the world is not just is changing but HAS changed. People are speaking up and will not let themselves be diminished for their beliefs and expressions. As others have said, we cannot be diverse if we force everyone to be/look the same.
3. We must rapidly continue to update Cal Maritime. We must expedite our Master Plan. Cal Maritime lacks what most colleges/universities not just in the CSU system but in the world have. We lack a proper Student Union (& forgive me if I say our Mayo Hall update doesn't cut it. But it's a start). We lack a "Safe Space". We lack the proper tools and means to cook our own food. Majority of colleges have "apartment style" dorms for at least there upperclass. We have nothing remotely close to any of these. My sister goes to CSUMB. Although larger, the school not much unlike ourselves that presently inherited old and crumbling infrastructure (built on the ruminants of Fort Ord). Yet this year, they just opened a brand new student union. It makes me sad really that we can't/don't have nice things. I knew coming in here I wasn't going to a normal college, but I never imaged it would be like this. Why are we so far behind? How did we get here?
4. This is long enough already. But man does communication and planning at both the admin and Corps levels suck. We preach leadership yet miss the mark on those two fundamental pillars. I could write a whole other story on the issues with orientation, FYE, registration, admissions, and more. I’m saving that for my personal work though.
In short Cal Maritime must fundamentally change its relationship with itself, its cadets, its environment, and more. So I challenge Cal Maritime with this: it's time to be the torch that lights the way. It's time to build our City on a Hill. We can be the light of the world. A city that cannot be hidden. If & ONLY if we embrace our role and complicity in this crisis and enact real and lasting change.

Posted 12/1/21 @ 1515

This is in response to the “It’s time to tell the full truth” posted on the Dissenting Opinions / Hate page. If you have not read that, please read it first.

I have never posted on this page, but I want to support the creator of this page and everyone else that has spoken up so far. Speaking up takes a lot of courage, and it’s pretty fair to say that if this page was not created then the President's cabinet would have continued to speak platitudes of "diversity" while doing nothing for minority students and women. You are doing the right thing by allowing people to speak their truth. And, anyone can comment including people that disagree which is why I am responding. This is primarily a response to the post titled "It’s time to tell the full truth". I can only speak for myself but I disagree with a lot of this person's arguments and I hope they read this and get another perspective. From here on I am referring to that person in this response.
1. The first point that was just blatantly wrong was that this page has increased homophobia and transphobia on campus. There is and has always been openly homophobic and transphobic people going to this school. What is happening now is that people are calling out the transphobia, and the transphobes are coming out of the woodwork to expose themselves. If you don't understand or like gay or trans people, that is your issue and they should not be affected by it. Anyone with this issue will still treat everyone going here with respect especially if you are chosen to have responsibility over other cadets.
2. The school is more dangerous because of this page? How so? Is it that people are realizing they aren't alone when they have experienced racism, sexism, or homophobia? You never explained this point. You just made a very thinly veiled threat that the author of this page is somehow responsible for future assaults by making a website that catalogs everything this school tries to hide. No, the only person responsible for assaults is the attacker.
3. "It takes ALOT for a guy to build up the bravery to make a move". Ok.......And what does that have to do with anything? This whole paragraph is claiming that most men here are socially awkward, afraid of women, and shamed for having sexual impulses, and I think you should speak for yourself. Most men here are not anymore awkward than the women, in fact most men here are kind, sociable, and just want to graduate and get a job. The problem is that there is a systematic problem of sexual assaults not being investigated. The problem is that when racist, sexist, or homophobic attacks happen here it is not handled properly by incompetent administration. The problem is when victims speak out they are even silenced or shunned by other students for 'causing trouble'. Men are not the problem, and if that is all you are getting from this then you should genuinely ask someone about it. You are the one that is not replying in good faith for positive communication. No one seems to have an agenda of shaming men, so if you feel shamed by some of the stories here you might want to do some self-reflecting. As far as the relationship issues you describe..........that also seems to be a personal problem. Most of the men here do not sexually assault people. Being horny isn't an excuse to violate someone's boundaries regardless of their gender.
4. "I hate the narrative that somehow men have all the advantages and power". I hate it too. That's why we should all work together to stop sexism on this campus. Men are also victims of sexual assault, harassment, hazing, racism, homophobia, and transphobia. Their stories are equally as important as anyone else, and the author of this page has posted those that have been submitted to this page.
5. This next one was pretty incoherent to be honest, but the argument is that women steal husbands and cause depression that leads to suicide. Then you say that there are women here that cause suicidal depression. If you are talking about emotional abuse in relationships, then that is a problem that should be addressed as domestic/relationship violence and it should not happen. However, what people are talking about now is sexism and bigotry at this school. Mental health is a big problem here and many people have issues with depression. If you can understand that relationship violence causes depression, then you should have no problem understanding that bigotry and poor campus morale is causing negative mental health affects for many of us.
6. To stop rape we have to "tell the full truth". Which is what? Are you implying that rapes are caused by people speaking out about sexual assault, that men lack the capability to understand what sexual harassment is, or that women cause depression and suicide by leading men on? I honestly think that you can't handle the truth.

Posted 11/29/21 @ 1500

One of Cal Maritime’s commitments to students is that they have a “diverse living and learning community.” Current events have proven this belief to be sadly untrue.
I can’t speak about being a member of the LGBTQIA+ Community, or being sexually assaulted or harassed, but I can speak about my experience as a woman of color at Cal Maritime.
A common question that people often ask to get to know someone is, “What is your ethnicity and background?” When I would tell people I am asian, I often received responses of “That’s why she studies so much”, “She’s only smart because she’s asian, and “What do you mean you’re not good at math? Aren’t all Asians supposed to be?” The responses from my peers didn’t get any better when I also told them I identified as African American (black). All I heard was “You don’t act like how black girls do,” “You’re not dark enough to be black”, or “That can’t be your Dad, he’s too dark.” Hearing these and other responses made me feel unsafe and forced me to assimilate, rather than to be myself and to be proud of my heritage. Due to the responses that I received, I also felt very embarrassed and would find myself avoiding answering these questions to those that did not know me well.
Looking around any of the classes, whether I was with licensed or non-licensed students, I was always one of the darkest people in the room. This was something that wasn't unusual, but I did feel like there was barely anyone that would understand how I felt if I confided in them about this. My hair is much thicker compared to the average person. Instead of Cal Maritime and the Corps of Cadets being understanding about this, I was often told that my bun “exceeded the two inch regulation in width” and that I needed to find a solution to fit the regulation standard. If I didn’t, then there would be demerits headed my way.
Getting nitpicked about physical features of mine unfortunately didn’t stop there. One of the few items that women had to express themselves on campus was to paint their nails. Rather than the campus leadership focusing on my education and my career possibilities, they spent so much time focusing on my nail polish color, saying that it was too dark or light for my skin tone.
In my personal opinion, the athletics program did bring a huge portion of the little diversity that Cal Maritime has on campus. As an active member of the Women’s Basketball Team, several of my teammates also experienced getting picked on for their hair or their appearance. I also was told that our peers took the abbreviation of IBL, which normally stands for International Business and Logistics, into meaning “International Basketball League.” Our peers also complained that the basketball players were too stuck up and only hung out with themselves. But why do you think that is? People will stick with those who make them feel safe, and not have to worry about people judging them.
As a student who had several commitments on campus, I complied with what the higher ups and my peers had to say about me and other people had to say, even if deep down, I knew it was wrong. I saw what happened to those who spoke out and addressed issues on campus and tried to implement change, such as Tyrone Wise III, Joe Campa, and most recently, Commandant Carissa Lombardo. They were either forced out, or let go, and I didn’t want that to be me. I was already too invested at Cal Maritime, and I only stayed because I thought about the struggle of transferring into another institution and not receiving any credits for the time that I had already put into my undergrad degree.
To all people of color, I am so sorry that I did not do anything to protect those that came after me. I was too scared, and I didn’t have the courage to point out racism that happened and is still currently happening on campus. I let this become another issue that gets “handled” and swept under the rug.

Posted 11/26/21 @ 2000

I’m a female cadet and I live on a floor with many other female cadets. Of the five I spoke to about this same issue, four shared with me that they also struggle with it. The food options we are given here is extremely unhealthy – and there are very few healthy options.
Due to personal food issues and the inability to prepare any food for myself (we have no access to a true kitchen to cook for ourselves or others ), I have no choice but to either risk eating sushi that is made on one day a week and served the other six days as it gets older and older, or the grilled cheese which is nothing but heavy, white Texas toast with two slices of Kraft American cheese inside that is so saturated with grease that my hands are always wet afterwards.
These other cadets and I have tried what we can from the ‘vegetarian’ offerings, but most of them are poorly cooked, frozen vegetables or just not things we can eat. The point of all this: we’ve completely lost our periods. I went to medical about it (I’m not sexually active) and there are zero other health issues these other cadets or I have.
The nutrition is simply SO BAD and the stress levels so high that our bodies cannot spare anything to even allow us to menstruate. This needs to be talked about as well: the school cuts every corner they can and the fact that food poisoning, digestive issues and tainted food is so common should be another point driving home the fact that Maritime is severely lacking in every area required to give us the bare minimum to live. Even our living conditions are deplorable. I’m ashamed of this place.

Posted 11/24/21 @ 0915

I had a complete and total mental breakdown on my T.S. Golden Bear cruise. I was MANDATED by the Commandants to see the psychologist on board, or I could face judicial punishments. I was told by the psychologist that if I was feeling suicidal and that if I reported it to them, they had to report it to the Master.
In addition, I was informed that they did not have adequate facilities/staff on board to deal with individuals with suicidal thoughts and that if I reported such feelings, I would be put ashore at the next port and would fail Cruise ($5,000+). As such, I lied on my psychological forms, I lied to the psychologist, and I buried my feelings deep inside.
One night, I hit rock bottom and found myself walking forward to the line locker. What saved me was a freshman cadet sitting in the forepeak who asked for my help with their sea bag. I spent the next few hours helping them.
That saved my life. The school did NOTHING for me in my deepest hours of despair. They only threatened to have me removed from cruise.

Posted 11/24/21 @ 0900

On my commercial cruise, on a major oil company's tanker (typically in the top five of the commercial cruise pick list), the third officer constantly told me to ask him about his penis. In addition, he flirted with me non-stop. I think he was trying to make me uncomfortable, but as a closeted gay male I knew that if I took him up on those suggestions he would probably flip out on me and/or my life could be in danger.
I was informed by one of the officers that if I called the HR hotline to report things "that it was easier to get the cadet off the ship than it was to hire a new mate". Also, I was told by another officer on the ship that the deck is very dark at night and there are no cameras on the stern – aka, I could "fall overboard". I wanted my PIC, so I kept my mouth shut.

Posted 11/23/21 @ 1515

As someone who had experienced sexual assault and harassment in high school, I was almost certain I’d experience some form of it at Cal Maritime, but never did I think that I would be raped. Everyone told me to stay away from the rugby house, but I had some really nice friends, good people, who played rugby and would occasionally invite me to some of the parties they held.
In the past, the rugby house had never been a problem for me. Surprisingly, everyone was always very nice and respectful towards me. However, about two months ago I went and started conversing with someone I knew who went to Cal Maritime. We started talking and he began to say how he always thought I was beautiful and how he had considered asking me out in the past. We went outside where it was quieter to talk some more and ended up kissing. He then asked me to have sex with him in the driveway.
I said no and he started to put his hand down my pants. I was a bit shocked and didn’t know what to do at that moment. He kept asking me if I wanted to leave the party early so we could go to my room. I told him multiple times that I did not want to have sex that night. I said I wanted to stay at the party with my friends and went back to them.
He waited on leaving until my friends and I were ready to leave as well. As this point, I was pretty drunk when hopping into my friend’s car. When I got back to my room, he texted me, asking to come over. I said yeah but I didn’t want sex. I told him that I just wanted to sleep next to him. I guess I just wanted someone to be with that night since my roommate had left and all my friends were already tired and asleep for the night. He came over and proceeded to start touching me. I told him I didn’t want that, I just wanted someone to sleep next to.
He began making out with me and removing my clothes. At this point, I was a bit frozen and didn’t know how to react. In the middle of having sex with me, I told him I didn’t want to anymore, I just wanted to sleep. I don’t know why I didn’t just tell him to leave – I guess I was still a bit shocked. As we laid down, he continued to touch me sexually. I told him to stop, but he would stop for a moment then go back to it.
I was too scared at this point to kick him out. I finally gave up and just pretended I was asleep in hopes he would stop touching me. After that night, I decided to avoid him, but he still went up to me at parties to ask to be friends with benefits, to go outside again, etc. I told my parents about it, but they weren’t very receptive. They said I shouldn’t be going out to parties and drinking and haven’t talked to me about the subject since.

Posted 11/23/21 @ 1500

Similar to the previous story, I had issues at the rugby house as well; PLENTY of times. Yes: they would bring underage girls (both too young for drinking and under 18) to the parties and get them PLASTERED. And that’s not all. No, it wasn’t just one boy who had a girlfriend who would make advances. There were multiple. With just the few times I went, there were at least five boys who avidly talked about having girlfriends and then not half an hour later, would be making advances on any and all girls they could. One of whom even hit on my friend and I in the same night, within the same hour. Yes, he had a girlfriend. No, I’m not making this up. It’s real. And it’s sad. I have not gone back and have expressed my concerns to the lower class students about those boys. To be mindful and stay safe, but the best option is just to NOT GO TO THE HOUSE! They still go because it’s college and parties are “part of the fun”, I guess.

Posted 11/22/21 @ 1845

One of the first parties I went to was the rugby house, and it quickly became obvious to me that this was not a good place to be. I didn't go back after my freshman year. For starters, many of the rugby boys had girls over that they had met on Tinder. Many of these girls were still in high school. I wish I'd been better at making it clear how disgusting I thought that was, but at the time I wasn't sure what to do.
It was easy to see, in this environment, how all of the boys were all over the girls. Not only the high schoolers, but my friends and I, too. Two of them, Boy One and Boy Two, pulled me into conversation early on in the night. They were both older and very friendly, so I was excited to talk to them. Boy One had a girlfriend that he'd been with for a long time. I couldn't understand why, then, over the course of a few different parties, he was constantly making a move towards me, like trying to sneak his arm around my waist or just moving too close to me.
At the last rugby party I went to, he kept dancing right behind me. Once, he even tried to get me to kiss me, and wouldn't stop trying even after I made it clear I wasn't interested in the slightest. This was the same night I'd brought someone I'd recently become involved with to the party. I stuck with him most of the time, but even so, Boy One continued going after me.
Boy Two became a problem I hadn't expected. We became somewhat decent friends after my first time at the rugby house, which was a part of the reason I kept going even after Boy One made me uncomfortable. Boy Two ended up far worse.
He was continuously rude towards my date and tried to separate us any time we talked, like pulling me away to meet more people or to get me another drink. My date was uncomfortable with him – rightfully so – so we decided to leave.
I waited while my date said goodbye to his friends. I was standing a little bit farther away, at the edge of the group, and Boy Two came up to me. He tried to convince me to stay a little longer while my date went home and had a fresh drink for me in his hand, making it clear he just wanted to keep me drinking, and that he wanted something to come of that. I'd already probably drank more than I should have, and wasn't completely in my senses, so when he stopped trying to convince me to stay and instead hugged me goodbye, I thought he'd finally relented.
He hadn't. He forcefully kissed me while I tried to push away from him, but it didn't end until he let it.
There's more I want to say, more stories and more explanations of how toxic some of my experiences with the rugby boys were, but more details would likely mean some people would recognize who I am. I wish I'd listened when some older girls warned me against going to the rugby house.

Posted 11/22/21 @ 1845

President Cropper,

I am glad to see you finally address this crisis. By announcing a full time & qualified Title IX Coordinator and an expansion of CAPS you have taken some great first steps. HOWEVER, alone they will mean nothing. Alone they're nothing more than band aids on bullet holes. There is much more to be done to address the rampant homophobia & racism, blatant security concerns, crumbling infrastructure, & so so much more. Despite the workload and challenges still ahead of us, I am proud to see your first steps here today. As always, (and I've mentioned before), your actions speak louder than your words, and I look forward to seeing your words this morning turn to action. The world is watching President Cropper and it will hold you above all accountable.

Posted 11/21/21 @ 2030

It had been a long day, tough actually, and I really needed support and to talk to a counselor at the Health Center. I went in during their walk in hours, which is only offered from 2-3pm M-F. I had to miss a lab glass to go.
When I was there, there was a male student ahead of me asking for the walk in counselling. The lady behind the counter said the walk in councilor wasn't in office today and offered him a medical appointment slot – not an appointment with a counselor. He declined and she gave him a card with the CAPS/suicide hotline number and told him to call if he needed anything more.
That interaction took less than a minute and the cadet left almost in tears. I left directly after knowing that I would not be able to talk to a counselor. In that moment I knew I would be ok, but would that student who left crying be ok?
Last semester we had a suicide attempt and a successful suicide here on campus. Why are the resources for students to get help so inconvenient? With the statistics we have regarding suicide, why are these resources not better? Does mental health and well-being matter? When students need help and it is not there, it can be devastating. So many questions and so many excuses.

Posted 11/21/21 @ 1100

Reading through these posts, I'm seeing a pattern similar to my senior year at CMA from Admin. To combat unrest amongst the student body they "turtle" until the leaders graduate. Usually these are 2nd semester problems, and also not as severe as what we're seeing here, but sadly it's the same song I've heard before. "We hear you." Well, when we were rallied against Cropper, the full sentence was "We hear you, but no." That's a bit too harsh in this case.
I just want you to know that in the industry, most companies don't care what your hair looks like. Most companies don't care if you have a beard. I've worn the same tattered boiler suit for months at a time. Nobody cares about corps positions. What matters is that you learn to take care of each other. The most important lessons in leadership that I've taken with me from CMA comes in the form of how I watched and handled the ineffective leadership on campus.
They say they make leaders at that school. Unfortunately for them, they do. Leaders who recognize just how fucked up the school is.
I wish you all the best of luck in your fights, and remember, CMA is a great place to be from, not a great place to be.

Parati Sumus,
Former 2D Divcom

Posted 11/21/21 @ 1000

But what is sad, is that I have rarely shared my personal life with campus to keep it professionally neutral with those I cross paths. I choose who I show any part of my personal life with at this campus – even when having drinks in port on cruise.
I distinctly recall Marc McGee being careful to reveal his sexuality because of the campus culture around one year after Cropper became President. Then it became a game of sorts, to discover the few alternatives within the employee pool who are not painfully hetero-normative with exclusionary jokes about every marginalized group. Even the openly homosexual faculty and staff were careful how "OUT" they'd appear.
Then came Brig Timpson and I was FLOORED. I never thought this campus could have had an openly gay staff, working right next to the campus president WITH a picture of his partner on his desk. I have heard the joke, "I took the ferry (fairy) into San Francisco, but he didn't like it" more times at the far end of campus where the maritime is and not within close proximity to the president.
So perhaps we have mis-characterized the bigots on campus, but is it a coincidence that the issues have stuck with the campus as it fails to openly show support, tolerance, or acceptance? We can do diversity hires at Cal Maritime but forget to tell them that they should do more than serve as titles espousing their synergistic terminologies picked up from years of telling others to fulfill the objectives of their position for them. When confronted, they may refer to coming from a more modest background, the work involved to get into their position and profess empathy, but they forget – their perspective shouldn't be self-referential. You cannot know everything, nor a perspective you cannot live yourself. You must not only TRUST, but cooperate to admit fault and find solutions.
Stop treating symptoms when your complacency doesn't beckon you to do more, as YOU have already achieved comfort. It is as though you presume that you know the RIGHT WAY. You are often wrong, because your “right way” is based on your ideology mixed with the group think of at-will administration "serving at the will of the President". Administrators preemptive action and reaction is dependent on the priorities laid out by the campus president, as they protect their career within CSU (presuming they will be going somewhere else after "their work is complete at Maritime").

Posted 11/20/21 @ 1745

I can't believe I overlooked this detail, and the campus likely wouldn't want the narrative to be shifted to include that the Title IX officer for the campus only recently became Vineeta Dhillon who's experience is largely purchasing. Then she took over CETL (Community Engagement Tutoring and Learning), rebranded as SEAS (Student Engagement & Academic Success). I can't say because of her with certainty, but Elaine Kociolek left soon after SEAS collapsed with Vineeta being moved into other purposes on campus.
When I heard Vineeta speak to my department for Title IX concerns, her gendered, binary representation of Title IX issues begged me to speak out immediately, but I bit my tongue. I knew better than to argue publicly with her over such binary examples that dismiss the potential for non-binary or gender neutral pronouns at the least. Granted, she was clearly in her first year at the time but that's the issue – the campus needed to get help from a Cal Poly employee due to the inadequate resources at our campus.
This campus needs a much more experienced Title IX officer and if Vineeta wants to grow into this role, there's more than 20 CSUs with more staffing to support her with training wheels.
Michael Martin is new, too. Another SFSU hand-me-down: SFSU Fired Whistleblower Who Exposed Science Building Scandal. Oops, maybe it's mischaracterized.
Complicit by title while personally appalled is the MO of the campus administration I know.

From Vineeta Dhillon’s LinkedIn:

Director, Procurement & Risk Management
1995 – Feb 2015 – 20 years

Responsible for all acquisitions and contracts for the campus as well as managing contractual risk along with other risk factors on campus.

South Delhhi Polytechnic (Link)
Bachelors in Graphic and Interior design

Posted 11/20/21 @ 1700

It's beyond pathetic that this campus has to totally bypass its own Title IX office and rely on the one from Cal Poly? Should we get our meals from there too?
This doesn't happen if the campus president cares about any of it. I saw him yesterday on the quad... he was just waiting it out. He even stopped saying, "I hear you" cause it was coming off so insincere, he was probably getting tired.
We're tired too, sir. Except you don't have to go to class with your attacker. And you don't have to make a call to Cal Poly to get what you need. Well, NOW YOU'LL HEAR US!

Posted 11/19/2021 @ 2030

This is all that was submitted, so if you’re looking for a comment in this area please read the title again. And again. And again.

Posted 11/19/2021 @ 2030

Please read the full letter here. It’s worth the read.

President Cropper,

Firstly, I am endlessly grateful for this platform, as it provides us the only avenue for speaking the truth at this truly god-forsaken school. This statement is for President Cropper directly, as well as any parties responsible for both the willful ignorance of the state of the campus climate, the online belligerence and display of the filthiest thoughts of truly small people, and lastly and possibly the one that infuriates myself and a vast number of the population here the most- the egregious and cowardly act of suspending Commandant Lombardo.
This school was marketed to all of us as the place where we would grow and become industry professionals. Our parents were assured both of our safety and our success. We were told, "You will get from Maritime what you put into it." And as such, we all came here, have a right to be here, and in that same vein, we have a right to expect leadership and the existence of morals among our staff. Especially from a president with an extensive Navy career - I address you directly President Cropper. Did you not, in your years of service, learn what honor is? Or what it is to have it? From the actions of these last few weeks, your inaction around Midshipman X, your dismissal of both the sexual assaults that have permeated this campus since the year began and now the discovery of intense systemic and interpersonal racism, homophobia, transphobia and disregard for fellow human life has not caused you to bat an eye. Word on campus is that they each got off with 40 demerits and the loss of their positions. I took the liberty of following up with my previous university, as well as three others in my home state, presented them with the group chat and the student handbook, and they were FLOORED at the inaction. Not a single one would have allowed any student perpetrating those horrendous statements to stay at their school. Is that truly who you want the maritime industry to depend on? This school, praised as the flagship for change in the industry, will ship these botched excuses for professionals into the industry to REPRESENT us? I think not.
There is a responsibility that we as students have towards our shipmates. Every day, we work, eat and live around each other, the vast majority are residential, and the climate is the biome in which we exist. We have the responsibility of attending classes, wearing our uniforms, and most notably, being supportive to each other. By the simple fact that we are crammed into close quarters, there is no space for hatred, as it festers and spreads with an infection rate that rivals the plague. Yet we are young people, and as we have seen demonstrated, there are several extremely bad apples in this sinking barrel. This is where I am appalled that I am having to outline this for people who are PAID to address this next fact. The faculty and staff are here to support US. We pay you to educate us. The majority of our professors are hell-bent on that goal and offer incredible support. But we cannot look to higher leadership for exactly that, because it is the filthiest example of internal politics and greed most of us have ever seen. We expect, as students, to have leadership punish those who abuse others, to expel those who would contaminate the rest of us with their inhumanity, create a livable not just survivable environment, and to offer extensive support to us all, including but not limited to, actually listening to what we have to say and implementing changes as they need to occur.

Please read the full letter here. It’s really worth the read.

Posted 11/19/2021 @ 1345

This story mentions a letter and words posted on IG by Commandant Lombardo. Please see her letter to all students, her suspension letter, and her powerful words by clicking here, or on the documents page.

Thank you for taking the time to talk with students this morning. Over the course of the hour I had with you I noticed a few things. The first was that you seemed quite flabbergasted and confused as to why the student body would what you to lead and to take a more active role. In a similar vein, you didn't seem to understand what that should look like. Allow me to point you towards Commandant Lombardo. She commented on a story also on this page titled, "A simple question" saying, ""No. If I had a college aged child (which I don't), I would not send him or her to Cal Maritime... whether they fit into the above categories or not. I truly believe Cal Maritime has the potential to be an awesome school, otherwise I wouldn't have quite my job in NYC, taken a pay cut, & left everything I know - friends & family behind. That being said, I'd ask you all to think about other college campuses. Not just academies, not just Cal Maritime. We are hating on Cal Maritime right now, but this isn't just a Cal Maritime issue. This isn't a college issue. This is a world-wide systemic issue." Although she doesn't explain herself, this is what leadership looks like. It has soul, meaning, well written, and more. It's an honest answer to a question. I cannot say the same for anything you've said or written. Leadership means taking action, proper communication, planning, etc. in order to prevent issues such as that our academy (and the world at large) is facing. You and this administration have not led, you've followed. Everything that you have done is reactionary.
Secondly, you commented at one point that it's the industry that sets our professional standards (specifically when it comes to hair and grooming). I almost laughed, cause who the fuck cares. We're not in the industry right now, we're in school. And even if the industry does care about whether the fact you ware nail polish or have blue hair, that's just ridiculous. Regardless, if that is indeed the case Cal Maritime should be the place to set a new standard. The torch to light the way so to speak. To not do so, especially after the wake of all this is a missed opportunity both for yourself and this institution.
This is pretty much all to say: As I've mentioned before, your actions speak louder than your words, and I look forward to seeing your words this morning turn to action. The world is watching President Cropper and it will hold you above all accountable.

Posted 11/17/2021 @ 1030

This is primarily for people who work under Cropper, and really anyone who works here. Knowing what's posted here, and what you know:

Would you let your daughter attend this school?
Would you let your lesbian/gay/bi child attend this school?
Would you let your trans child attend this school?

Would how you answer these questions to yourself differ from what you would say to President Cropper, if he asked you?

Does that help answer how we got to here?

Posted 11/16/2021 @ 0800

As a sophomore I heard about a girl who had been assaulted on the training ship Golden Bear by a classmate I knew. This guy was also in a couple of my classes and I knew him pretty well and I genuinely respected him. I remember hearing this from my best friend at the school and being so shocked. In the end, I found it out to be true based off of other people telling me the same thing. To this day, I don’t think anyone said anything because he ended up graduating and I think she left the school. I feel bad for the girl whoever she is and hope she gets the justice she deserves. In way I feel even worse because when I was 9-12 I was sexually assaulted by a cousin in my family and never had my own courage to say anything. Now, I’m a 22 year old male who’s kept this secret for so long and those experiences never leave me alone. I go to the gym, hang out with friends, and spend as much time with my loving girlfriend as possible to get away from these memories. But I can’t get far enough away from them. I hope she finds the help she needs and the justice she deserves so that they don’t haunt her in the future.

Posted 11/15/2021 @ 1945

This is critical to state, especially at this moment in time and considering the recent events. I'll keep this simple. A common accusation on this website is that there is no proof. What they don't tend to realize is that this is where we speak about what has happened, for awareness' sake, not where we deal with it. In my cases of assault, harassment etc. on this campus, I have EXTENSIVE physical proof, which has been supplied to the authorities both legal and school related, that it needs to be given to.
In dealing with my own cases, I have met easily fifteen other girls who are in the exact same situation. We have proof. We know a lot more than people assume, and more than our abusers think. They hope we don't have proof, and the people who use that statement on here and on YikYak are ALWAYS the guilty parties. Not only that – as of last month YikYak has had two subpoenas submitted by the local PD, and there are people actively working on those cases. It won't be long before the data files that YikYak is mandated to store for security purposes are delivered to the police, and the names of the anonymous are uncovered.
You cannot hide forever. Two names have been found already, of freshman males that use the platform to harass women. You say you want proof so badly, as long as it doesn't incriminate you. It does, it's here, and it will.

Posted 11/15/2021 @ 1930

I was sexually assaulted by another student on campus. In public, in front of other cadets, who since this incident have refused to stand up for myself or themselves about what they saw. Call it the fear of retaliation that seems so prevalent here, call it the underdevelopment of their brains – people will truly call it anything but the cowardice it is.
I was devastated. Before I came here to Maritime, I was in extensive therapy for a sexual assault that almost claimed my life. To have this happen during the first month of school was bad enough, and caused so much internal turmoil and anguish, but the response from it was even worse. I did end up sharing what had happened to a commandant, and they held a meeting with the student and I as a form of mediation. He did what most abusers/predators do, which is answer every question right, even if that correctness is a blatant lie.
The commandants then advised me to "get coffee with him, get to know each other" and that there would be no action taken because it was just heresy, and the student claimed he had no idea what the accusation was founded on. I would have been content to drop it, had the digital retaliation not been so extreme. Out of fear of exposure, I can't say more than this. Since then, I have dealt with blackmail, hate messages, retaliation in various forms, isolation from making friends on campus, and worst of all, I've received no support.
After some time passed following the incident and retaliation, I decided to approach the Title IX office to see if there was anything I could do to hold the student accountable. They told me that unless I mount a full scale investigation against him, which would publicly out me yet again, because the student is not only obsessed with me, but obsessed with sharing his blatant lies about the situation, nothing would be done about the matter. Since that, one student who witnessed it has come forward and reported it to Title IX, and they have still done nothing despite telling me that all they needed was one witness.
I was quite literally told, "Boys will be boys." I can't accept that, the behavior or the statement. I cannot and will not accept that abuse from anyone, least of all after what I've been through. For people who don't know me, who have not attempted to do so at all, to try and get me not only to leave, but actively *unalive*, is disgusting behavior. People unrelated to the situation have retaliated in ways I can't say here, for sake of identification. And everyone so far, other than my few friends and the people who saw it, have sided with the perpetrator.
Cal Maritime, listen to your women. Know that not a damn one of us would take time and stress out of our already stressful lives to create a false report, and the victim blaming needs to stop. I call on the Title IX office, the President, VP McMahon, and the commandant staff to take these reports seriously, to punish those who abuse others, and to stop hiding behind the curtain of excuses to preserve the already fragile image of this academy.
Midshipman X may have started our crusade, but we will end it. Every one of our stories, our trials and our injustices will be brought to bear, and there will be a reckoning. If Cal Maritime wants to survive what's coming, if it wants to be the academy that changed the game, if it truly wants to be the pioneering school it claims to be, it needs to act. We have done the work. We have fought hard for where we are. Do not allow your female population to suffer, because if it continues to, not only will we not continue to be here and take it, neither will Cal Maritime. Make the decision to change. We deserve this.

Posted 11/15/2021 @ 1930

Come one! Come all!
Buy a ticket to the attraction.
Step inside a transformed world of exotic flora and fauna.
No limit of species or spectacle!

Come one! Come all!
Look into the exhibit as we put on a show.
A parade of keepers conducting a feast.
Constructing a feax habitat to coerce the beast.

Come one! Come all!
Hear that silent sweet lull exuded by Captivity
A faint soft buzzing scent of,
Man-made tranquility.

Come one! Come all!
Tame and gentle creatures here
Of muzzled mask and faded signs.
Only quality choice belong in the natural design.

Come one! Come all!
We're sad to see you go!
We'll take your word, share what you've heard
and come back again tomorrow.

--The Greatest Cropper Manifesto

This is in response to President Cropper’s speech at formation, Monday November 15th available at this link and the documents page.

Posted 11/15/2021 @ 0900

Dear President Cropper,
Hate speech is not protected by the 1st amendment. Especially that which, consists of specific threats of violence targeted against a person or group. The comments made by our ex-leaders are regrading, violent, distrustful, and more. The list goes on. Thank you for returning from Long Beach, I hope your visit with the Board of Trustees was successful. Your actions speak louder than your words, and I look forward to seeing your words this morning turn to action. The world is watching President Cropper and it will hold you above all accountable.

Posted 11/14/2021 @ 1445

We've been told that leadership is what you learn here, but where is our leadership? It does model what's above it in the chain. It leads to Pres. Cropper. As I write this now, it's been 6+days since the resolution drama hit and from the president...crickets. That's the leadership he wants to have, and it's echoed in his cabinet, and those they choose. By this point, if anybody has said up the chain how crazy it is to be experiencing this leadership vacuum, it's clear that he doesn't care. This is the way he wants it.
The problem with that is that students are leaving! Look at the enrollment numbers for the past few years, they're nose diving. And that was already happening several years before COVID. You've had 10 years as the head honcho! This culture is precisely what he has tolerated for his tenure, so what's on the record to show efforts to change it? And how sincere are those efforts? We know window-dressing when we see it.
I mean, read that speech he gave to formo...he laid it out all on us? We're the only agents of change? You and your staff don't have any power? Really, that's pathetic. It goes along with either him (or someone from his band of flunkees) saying at another formo "leaders don't commit sexual assault." Um, yeah dude, they do. You probably picked them to be leaders, cause they looked so sharp...just the way you like it. But you and your leaders just told us it's our problem to fix, like all generations (including yours, which currently holds the most power) just washed their hands in front of us and dried them on our sexist, but spiffy uniforms.
We won't see this fixed until our vacuum of leadership is filled, and Cropper's gotta go. Like, yesterday! He should retire, collect that 10 years of retirement money (look up his salary) and leave so that this place can really deal with its rot, instead of challenging us to fix the problems that he's best positioned to actually call out and eliminate. It's almost Christmas time, so he can start taking that princely California taxpayer retirement money and start buying an army of those wooden nutcracker figures, instead of toying with our campus and cadet leadership. Hell, those dolls do look nice and prim and proper in their (male-only) uniform, and they too are hollow inside.

Posted 11/13/2021 @ 1400

If a student chooses not to report a Title IX case (due to fear of personal safety, retribution, or more), the campus claims there is nothing they can do and routinely uses low reporting rates to pretend there is not much of a problem, so there's no need to do anything. Anonymous data on campus climate has indicated for years that rape, stalking, and sexual harassment are major problems - above college averages - but this data is routinely questioned and has not motivated top campus leaders to take tangible action.
The repeated claims have been (1) we don't know where rapes are happening and if it's not on campus, we cannot do anything about it; and (2) that the percentages are high, but the numbers are small, so not statistically significant. This latter point is actually completely wrong - the data is statistically significant - and has been repeatedly refuted by statistically-competent members of our campus, to no avail.
Public statements by leaders of our campus continue to downplay our campus and the maritime world as a community that has a sexual harassment, rape, and hate speech problem and that leaders and students can and do commit acts of sexual assault ALL. THE. TIME.
The (as Admin likes to term it) “cadet experience” is untenable– not just at CSU Maritime Academy, but all maritime academies and outside the academies as well. Everybody at CSU Maritime feels the weight of the poor conditions. The recent notoriety of sexual assault on ships has brought this to a head, but all students are in the same situation - regardless of if they will be working on a ship or not. All the U.S. maritime academies are instrumental in keeping the frat-boy brand of misogyny, homophobia, etc tradition alive. CSU Maritime must face responsibility for their contribution to the culture, and desperate change needed must begin to come from the academies.

Posted 11/13/2021 @ 0001

I am horrified by the recent transphobic and anti-LGBTQ remarks and I’m embarrassed that these guys who were suspended came from my OWN company and division. These were guys I had gone to with my own issues of not fitting in and being bullied because of it (I also belong to an underrepresented demographic). I’m certain they’ve been doing this on their private chat for a long time, but this is only the first time they got caught.
Our Corps Commander has resigned in disgrace. This guy had everything going for him, but after we find out his true character he has lost everything because of his foolish, appalling behavior.
This school basically sold me a fraudulent bill of goods. When I was accepted here they kept sending me photos of a diverse student population and basically assuring me that all would be ok, and it isn’t.
And Cropper has not said a word.

Posted 11/12/2021 @ 0730

With everything going on right now, life is hard. It is even harder to be a girl on campus and now even harder than it used to be. Things happen to us and we either grow and move on which takes quite a while or we think about all of the things we did wrong. With people speaking out with their stories, it’s hard to progress in a healing stage. There is a pressure that if you have been affected you should speak out and to be honest, reading so many relatable stories is extremely overwhelming. Overwhelming to the point that I don’t even want to read articles or be involved to prevent a panic attack or the slight chance I may go back to the way I used to be. I want to stand with my community but sometimes to save yourself you just need to take a step back and focus on yourself.

I want to commend you for reminding everyone (myself included) that it is okay to take a step back to take care of yourself. I’ve been in meetings with our administrative “leaders” who wonder why there is sometimes such low turn out at meetings surrounding these issues, and you eloquently explained why – thank you so much for sharing your story. Please know you can reach out anytime.

Posted 11/11/2021 @ 1800

We are pissed. We don't feel safe on campus. We don't feel safe reporting. We need to make change happen, and it needs to start with changing campus culture of what's okay and what's not. The message CSU Maritime sends to its women and its victims is that we essentially don't matter. That getting raped is something we're responsible for preventing. That there are far greater repercussions for the victim than there is for the perpetrator. The idea that women should avoid getting raped instead of focusing on getting men to stop raping is ridiculous, and one of the many issues with much of the messaging from our campus.

Posted 11/10/2021 @ 1600

I've always known that Cal Maritime had a large conservative body and that I would disagree with nearly all of their view points on social issues, but after seeing the comments published from the group chat and the "dissenting opinions" uploaded to this site I'm blown away with how small and hateful this school can be. I'll start off saying I'm a bisexual guy but I have only told less than a handful of my peers because of the social backlash I believed I would receive. Recently I started thinking that maybe Cal Maritime was a more accepting place than I had originally thought but the comments that have come out recently have made me realize that's not the case and it is absolutely not in my best interest to be open about who I am. I was out and open about my sexuality all through high school and my first 4 years in college before I transferred to CMA and have been mocked, belittled, and assaulted for being open about my sexuality. I've spent time in the hospital after being assaulted by a classmate for being open about my sexuality, and I'm not willing to let that happen again. After that experience I began fighting back and even ended up getting expelled for fighting a classmate who called me a fag and I have no regrets about it, I hope a situation like that doesn't happen again but I would absolutely do it again today.
One of the dissenting letters that was submitted said, "If you find that explaining who or what you are during or after transition is embarrassing and awkward, then it was not meant for you." In response to this, it's not just "embarrassing and awkward", it's life threatening. Trans men and women are assaulted or killed for being who they are and with the responses I've read from people at this school I would be even more worried for my safety than I was before. The writer of this letter also brings up their god creating people the way they were supposed to be. I'm not sure if they forgot that we're at a public institution and there is a separation of church and state, or if they simply don't care. In either case let me say that no one has to follow the rules of your religion, just as you don't have to follow those of mine, you can adhere to them yourself if you want but trying to force your rules on anyone else is wrong and pointless. As for their comments equating trans women to castrated dogs I just want to say grow up, maybe talk to people outside your bubble. If you just want to sit in a little echo chamber and drool about your hatred for trans people then a higher learning institution isn't the place for you.
On the topic of professionalism and hair length, nail polish, ect... I find it hard to believe any of the people writing these comments have had any professional experience in the real world. If you had experience in a professional setting you would know that discrimination on the basis of race, gender, and sex are all illegal. What I believe many of you will find when you transition from school into the professional world is that you would be fired instantly for the comments that have been made. If you want to make Cal Maritime a professional environment then you have to act like professionals. Calling people castrated dogs, using homophobic and transphobic slurs, telling people to "cope, seethe, and dilate" (seriously grow up, you sound like an edgy 14 year old trying to get attention), and telling people their experiences with assault are made up aren't the words or actions of professionals. It just shows that this desire for "professionalism" is just a thinly veiled cover for your hate of those who don't adhere to your narrowminded views. I think you could all do some self-reflection and try to figure out why you're filled with hate for people who have done nothing to you. Maybe you weren't loved enough as a child, maybe you're just a bad person. I can't answer that but if you keep thinking like this you're going to live a sad life with a heart full of anger. Let's not forget the student who thought like many of you, who hated those around him and hated himself and ultimately took his own life. It's terrible that happened but it's an example of what this way of thinking does to you and your mind. Hopefully things change for you and you can learn to accept people for who they are.

Posted 11/10/2021 @ 1345

As a bi conservative, I have often felt that I am split between two different worlds. Stuck on the fence with, neither being able to fully understand or identify with them, nor having them fully understand or identify with me. As human beings (not just Americans), we all have the natural (dare I say god given) right to as our Declaration of Independence says, “Life, Liberty, & the Pursuit of Happiness”. Although historically, this has not always been the case it should have been and should continue to be.
Although I am a member of the LGBTQ+, I ashamedly admit I do not fully understand (though I am trying to learn) the differences between biological gender, sexual orientation, and sexual identity. Despite that, I fully respect others' right to live and identify as they feel comfortable. Though I may not fully understand how someone can identity as a sex other than which they were born I fully support their right to do so and their right to a safe environment to do so.
Those that seek to tell others how to live or shame them for their expressions, are nothing more than would-be dictators or totalitarians. Just because you do not agree with somebody's identity or choices doesn’t mean you have the right to berate, seek violence, & de-humanize them. My philosophy in life is that we need to let people be themselves. That we as human beings have the freedom to do/live as we please in so far as we are not directly harming, trampling, etc the freedom of others to do so. THIS is what it means to be American. THIS is the ideal that our country was founded on and the legacy that should endure. Those that believe otherwise, don’t deserve to be here and can go pound sand.

Posted 11/10/2021 @ 1330

Written in response to the community message about the recent incident (group chat massages) posted on the documents page, also linked here.

I have always thought the commandants are solid leaders, I still do, but this just seems like a cop out for Cal Maritime leadership to take responsibility for fostering a climate of inclusivity towards minority groups like women and LGBTQ+ on campus. You can hand out demerits, relieve people of command, or suspend cadets all day, but quality change will only happen when high echelons take ownership. Leading by example goes all the way to the top. Commandants, administrators, and instructors should create an atmosphere that shows these attitudes do not fly at all. Call a spade a spade; why should being a woman or why should what someone identifies as or who they are attracted to impact how they are treated if those aspects do not harm you or impede your way of life?
It shouldn’t. If something intangible threatens you, is it really a tangible threat or is it highlighting an insecure moral foundation? Instilling morals and a code of ethics that doesn’t even entertain or support conversations like that is the kind of prevention, rather that reaction, we should expect. Proactive discussion of how diversity improves organizations should filter out people who want to deprive minority demographics of opportunities. Diverse backgrounds provide organizations with many different approaches to problems that otherwise wouldn’t be addressed with a homogenous group. I graduated so I don’t have a lot of skin in the game with Cal Maritime anymore but that’s my 2¢ on the matter because everything else on this page is seriously disappointing.

Posted 11/9/2021 @ 2030

This story is about a group chat titled 'Rants'. This group chat contained a number of people in leadership positions, mainly from MPM, and included [REDACTED] the Corp Commander. In this group chat many homophobic and transphobic remarks were made in regard to the letter written by [REDACTED]. Quotes from this group chat include "Literally. Fuckin children. God I hope we get into a kinetic war with China and use them (transgender individuals) as cannon fodder" - [REDACTED]. "We should send tranny soldiers back to Afghanistan" - [REDACTED]. "Send all the AS fags see what happens" - [REDACTED]. "Send em all without dilators or hormone therapy" - [REDACTED]. "If you have to take hormones and perform surgery to snip ur dick, then you are not that gender" - [REDACTED].
These quotes are just a taste of what these cadet leaders had to say on the matter. [REDACTED] as a part of this chat should have at the very least spoken up about how insensitive and wrong these messages are and were. [REDACTED] not only failed to step in, but encouraged and egged on this behavior. No student should have to put up with this kind of hate from another much less when they have to put up with this hate coming from one of the highest points of leadership on campus.

Link to the group chat screenshots, also found on the dissenting opinions page.

Posted 11/8/2021 @ 2300

Coming out about your experience with sexual assault, rape, or harassment at Cal Maritime is like getting the tiny "I Voted" sticker after leaving the voting booth. No one cares and it gets lost or thrown away briefly after you get it. Besides, you were a number among millions that casted a vote so it doesn't really matter how you voted, right? How unfortunate would it be to come forward about something like a sexual assault only to have it get dismissed in the blink of an eye because you are just another number to them. That's the maritime industry for you - happens so regularly that no one will notice one more. News flash, women don't come to Cal Maritime or go into the maritime industry in hopes to get taken advantage of and then to sit back, smile, and give a thumbs up.
I came to Maritime to get my license and do a job that I love and want to have for the rest of my life; not to get sexually taken advantage of. I was raped at Cal Maritime and instead of branching out, making new friends and focusing on the new chapter of my life, I was locked in my room alone and terrified. I had to deal with mountains of paperwork, explicitly sharing my story on repeat, meetings, zoom calls, doctors appointments, emails and other tedious tasks that had nothing to do with school. I was completely overwhelmed and somehow at the end of the day it was always "my fault". I kept hearing that I was going through with the case because I wanted attention, I deserved it, I didn't say no or fight back, I let it happen, I was overacting, that I was lying, that it was my problem, that I should really keep it to myself, and that I should have known better. I was dumbfounded. I needed actual help - not someone’s opinion about how my t-shirt and gym shorts were too suggestive and that I would likely not win my case.
Coming forward about my experience was extremely difficult for me, but suffering in silence would have been worse.

Posted 11/8/2021 @ 2000

Editorial posted on gCaptain by Elizabeth C. McNie. Excerpt:

I was working in the Alaskan fishing industry in the 1980s when I was raped aboard a boat. Then, several years later, when I was a cadet on commercial cruise, I was kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a ‘trusted’ ship vendor. I blamed myself for what happened rather than acknowledge the grit I had for being able to return to work later that day.

…

I try to instill in my students a belief in doing the right thing, a knowledge that integrity is about what you do when people are not looking. A belief in kindness and in being a good shipmate. And truly, I believe our students are cut from a different cloth and capable of great things. We owe it to the next generation of seafarers to get it right this time, because so far, our efforts to protect our women seafarers from unimaginable trauma is falling short.

Posted 11/9/2021 @ 2030

I applied this year for division leadership and ended up not getting the position. Naturally, I reached out and asked why I wasn't selected. The first reason I received was basically, "You're too qualified." That didn't make any sense to me, so I met with Commandant Pelczarski about the situation. I was informed I am not actually as qualified as I was previously told (which is debatable based on two previous Corps positions I've had). Following that meeting I reached back out to the student who decided and asked for the real reason. What I received back was even worse: "I wasn't confident you would vibe with the culture I want to create either." As a student who is outspoken on issues of gender equity, harassment, rape, basically what this website seems to be for, I can't help but think I wasn't selected because of who I am and what I do.

Link to the emails, also found on the dissenting opinions page.

Posted 11/7/2021 @ 1200

Cal Maritime has made me relive what it was like living in my small conservative home town. I was never out when I lived at home and getting a new start here gave me the confidence to be openly me. That is until my "friends" started openly calling me "dyke" to my face despite my efforts to get them to stop, they would just laugh it off as a joke. The amount of people who openly call queer people "faggot" or just use it to insult something they don’t like makes me feel very vulnerable and like I should never have told the people here that I'm queer. Recently I've been struggling with my gender identity. It’s putting a lot of mental strain on me, and I know I can't talk to any of my friends about it. I know everyone would perceive me differently on campus if it got out. Word travels so fast on this small campus that it would only take a couple of days before the whole school would know. Cadets already call me "dyke", "fag", or "trap" to my face. I don’t want to bring myself anymore grief. Not to mention the higher ups are constantly taking steps backwards when it comes to including non-binary and genderqueer cadets. Being queer on this campus is a very isolating experience and I just want to get out of here.

Posted 11/4/2021 @ 1845

You know what sucks? Being a girl at Cal Maritime. Being queer at Cal Maritime. Being anything but white (or at least white passing) at Cal Maritime. Struggling with mental health at Cal Maritime. Having a disability at Cal Maritime… the list goes on. Being the only girl in a classroom full of 20 other male students and a male professor is one of the most uncomfortable positions to be in -- especially in my first year here. There were constant comments about my appearance and how I needed to smile more, questions about what I’d look like in anything other than khakis, people asking how old I was and if my 18th birthday was coming up soon, the professor changing the topic being discussed if it had to do with women at all, being told I should participate more then being called wasted potential because I wasn’t comfortable enough to try to speak over all the other louder voices -- and that was just 2 hours out of every week my first semester here. Even if I’m the most competent person in the room, TAs, other students, and professors either entirely ignore me or they constantly hover over me thinking I’m gonna break something or myself. It’s only been recently when I’ve had repeat professors that I’ve been given the same amount of respect as my male classmates and where I haven’t been treated like a fragile flower (only because I’ve already had to fight for respect from those professors in previous semesters). As a female engineer, I’ve had to put in way more work to be respected, to access the same resources, to have the same opportunity, to be given the same job, and to work alongside my peers instead of being told to sweep up the floor after them (something I’ve literally been told to do because a “woman’s job is to cleanup after the men doing the real work”). And what’s the point of this? I’m not gonna change anyone’s mind. The people reading and writing these things aren’t usually the ones who make others suffer, but are the ones who are suffering. I have no hope for this campus, I’m just trying to survive and I’ll keep fighting to exist on this campus. The industry will be no different and this life will not be easy, but it never has been so why stop trying.

Posted 11/4/2021 @ 1000

I need help spreading all the unjust stuff that happen in my campus. I am a female mechanic engineer student who attends this campus, over my time here I have felt unheard, uncomfortable, and unsafe after experiencing harassment from fellow male classmates (yes, I reported them, I received a "boys will be boys" speech). With the majority of students studying marine engineering, mechanic engineering, and business, this campus consist of 20 percent woman as a whole. Harassment reports go unsolved at CSU maritime academy and even the fear of speaking out prevents us from coming forward. There has been no action plan by the president and vice president to make this community safe and inclusive for everyone.

Click hear to read the Reddit comment thread.

Posted 11/3/2021 @ 1130

The night was supposed to be a divisional party for an engineering division, and the divisional leadership had gotten together with others to rent an Airbnb. Many upperclassmen brought alcohol including a cadet who held corps officer rank. He showed up with a bag of fireball of a size I cannot remember. I remember him having underclassman and himself take hits from the bag. I did not drink anything that night except for iced tea and water. Instead, I spent the night making sure that my shipmates were safe and okay. I chose not to drink because I have alcoholism on both sides of my family and did not feel comfortable with the current crowd. I had three friends who were there with me and they did drink but all were over the age of 21 at the time. I went with my friends and was hanging around with them. When we were headed back the cadet (same one as before) ran down the beach and tackled me without respect for me or without any safety precaution in mind and using my martial arts I had to pin him to the beach. I did so in a manner as trained using the least amount of force possible and without hurting him. I repeatedly asked if he was okay and told him to stop. I let him go, he walked two steps away, turned back around and assaulted me again forcing me to pin him a second time. I held the hold this time forcing us away from the beach as I didn’t need to wrestle in the water since there was a possibility of someone drowning. During this time, I told him to slow his breathing and relax but he continued to struggle and try to attack me. When he finally went limp I let him up for a third time. This time he came after me I pinned him quick still making sure not to injure him or myself. I held him for a long time and the last time I let him go, he ran away cursing and yelling at me (the next day he said he was blackout drunk and didn't remember any of it). I then got with my buddies who saw this but did not intervene and went back up to the house to get ready and head back to the boat. It was at this time that my div com was headed down to the beach with fireworks. I went back to the buddy with a different friend of mine in an Uber. When I got to the ship I wrote down and signed an account of what happened and turned it over to a commandant on the quarter deck. I then went down into the ship and told a professor who texted the details to another professor (which I gave my okay to do). The commandments didn’t do anything for a few hours but when they did, they wanted to sit me down in a room with him so we could talk this out. Still afraid about this person, I went to the professors again and told them how I didn’t feel safe with this person. They offered me counseling but no other action to show I was safe onboard the TSGB. When I got back to campus I avoided this individual until he graduated.

Posted 11/2/2021 @ 1000

I'm a nonbinary student at this school and I am baffled at the idea of needing to out myself to an authority figure to get permission to dress in an “authorized gendered dress code”. No person should be forced to explain their gender expression to an authority figure as it is a personal and sensitive topic. I believe this policy discriminates more so against trans-feminine people and gender non-conforming men due to how strict they are on hair buns/long hair.
It's unbelievable - the amount of energy they (the administration) put into having every male student represent their ideal version of how a guy should be.
It makes me really sad knowing guys who have grown and taken care of their long hair for months and even years to cut it off because this school doesn’t like guys having man buns. You shouldn't have to be trans or a woman to have long hair or to wear earrings.

Posted 11/2/2021 @ 1000

Summer between my freshman and sophomore year at CMA I got a deckhand job working on a salmon tender in Alaska for Trident Fisheries. I had no idea who I was going to be working with. It was a 100ft vessel with three other men. Here's the things I was told during my 39 days on that vessel by the captain. "A woman's place is at home with the kids and in the kitchen." He told me that he had a reputation of having a female on board who did the paperwork, and that brought more fishing boats to his tender, and therefor, banned me from working on deck. The bathroom door would mysteriously get unlocked almost every time I showered. The engineer and the captain would insist that I watch "Game of Thrones" with them (soft core porn). The captain slapped me on the ass with a fly swatter. I'd finally had enough and contacted HR. 10 minutes after I sent the email, the captain was getting yelled at by his boss as they tattle-tailed on me. I asked to leave the vessel about 5 days after. I remember writing in my journal that I felt like my soul was dying. The captain, upon my departure asked me to sign a piece of paper stating why I was leaving. He said to put "because it just wasn't what you were expecting." I refused to sign the paper, but never went after Trident for the incident because I didn't want my reputation in the industry to be tarnished.

Posted 11/2/2021 @ 1000

In the middle of last summer I was out with friends in the city. He told me to come over - he was my best friend at the time and I was excited to see him. He was drunk and told me to come with him to his boat. I did. We started getting intimate and he started getting aggressive. He didn't put any kind of protection on, and forced himself inside me. I didn't say no because I couldn't say no. He had his hand around my throat and I couldn't breathe. I had to push him off me and he finished himself off and passed out. I haven't spoken to him since and will be dealing with the trauma of that situation for the rest of my life. I know because that's not the first time I've been raped.

Posted 11/2/2021 @ 1000

"You're lucky you were born a beautiful woman. Can you imagine how hard life would've been for you if you would've been born an ugly woman?" - Tug captain at the end of my hitch. Year two at CMA.

Posted 11/2/2021 @ 1000

It feels like being judged as you just go about your day (which is already busy and stressful enough). Before you even leave the room when you’re just thinking about what you want to wear, it’s stressful. The rules being gendered – hair length, colored nail polish, and earrings – got in the way of figuring out who I am. Besides being plainly discriminatory, I think these gendered rules, most importantly for trans individuals, put needless roadblocks on the journey to self-expression. It definitely did on mine. It wasn’t as simple as putting on other clothes or painting my nails. It was agonizing over what the rules said, if I was going to be written up, how I was going to be judged by the Commandants and my fellow students. All this is never needed in life, but especially NOT when I was in the middle of really learning who I am.
When I first wore women’s clothes to the dining hall (literally just women’s jeans and a normal t shirt), literally at the first table in the door I was stopped and someone said, “I’m so sorry man, are you doing this for a dare?” I was so completely nervous and stressed I had no idea what to say or how to deal with the situation, so I said, “No,” saw the gears grind in his head as he processed this, then I continued my way and got dinner to go (since eating in the dining hall was way too stressful). On other campuses I have told people I am trans, shown them photos of me as me, dressed how I want, and I don’t get the look I do here. Elsewhere we have a normal conversation. I’m treated like any other human. At Cal Maritime some people are super normal, nice, and don’t look at me funny. Nearly all women, in my experience, but some men (definitely the minority). There are people, students and teachers, at Cal Maritime that do feel safe and comfortable, but there is a reason I dread returning to campus from visiting or being elsewhere. Cry on the drive home dread. Elsewhere, I feel like I can be my honest self without judgment, questions, or being uncomfortable. I’m accepted for who I am without having to explain myself - just me is me. Cal Maritime is an uncomfortable accusatory questioning atmosphere of ignorance, dislike, and judgment.
Over a year later and it's still stressful dressing how I want on campus (on the rare occasions I don’t have to wear khaki). The overall atmosphere is entirely NOT accepting (except with almost all the faculty, at the Makerspace, and with my close friends), and having discriminatory rules does nothing but harm and further the already too prevalent detrimental atmosphere.