Bravely should not be required to be yourself

Leaders are not afraid to put their name on what they believe in. However, I know how difficult that can be. Thus, I created this website as safe & anonymous space to speak your mind & share your stories.

For women and those most effected by these stories please know it is okay to not put your name on what you submit, or to even read what has been posted - especially the hate speech. Whether it’s a matter of feeling overwhelmed, or even physically unsafe to share your story or attach your name, please know you are not alone in those feelings - I feel them too. Taking care of yourself is paramount. As a beautiful and strong human submitted to this site, “sometimes to save yourself you just need to take a step back and focus on yourself.” Please take care of yourself and know I am here for you in any way I can.

I am Sophie Scopazzi, a transfeminine 1/C deck student at CSU Maritime Academy in Vallejo, California. Since coming out a year ago, Nov 11th, 2020, I’ve gotten called brave a lot, more so recently, which I feel thankful for. However, I steadfastly believe the world should not require bravely from someone to simply be their true self. If that is the case, something is wrong with the world.

The biggest challenge I currently face is what my academy leadership terms “ignorance”. Some cadets and academy leadership refuse to treat all at the school with respect and dignity as humans on this planet in the name of “professionalism” and “tradition”, when what they really want is discrimination and to dictate how others may live and be. Long hair is not exclusive to any one gender, the color of your nail polish has no effect on your ability to do your job, and anyone can wear earrings (all as long as they are safe for the work they are doing). This seems lost on some people: everyone deserves to be respected and treated with equity regardless of their gender, race, background, or anything else.

We are taught growing up to respect others. To treat others the way you want to be treated. To be honest and truthful in the way we live our lives. Our so called “leaders” actions do not embody respect. They do not set an example of how to respect others. Their actions set an example of how it is okay to treat people differently based on their perceived gender identity. That it is okay to discriminate. At least at my academy, that it is okay to require students to out themselves – a gross violation of students’ privacy. These actions do not set an example of how to be a leader.

I’m tired of continually being discounted as a human on this planet. Day in, day out, being diminished as a person. Being othered into a separate category, as our current grooming standards do, and being openly hated by members of my community. To be able to continue coming to school I must, to a certain extent, become okay with that. Become okay with not being fully valued as a human being. To become okay with the heavily present rape culture, misogynistic quips, victim blaming, homophobia, transphobia, and hate. It is not okay to be okay with things like this. It forces me to struggle with feeling devalued every day I set foot on this campus. It forces me to tolerate things I should not have to tolerate. When are we going to stop treating people differently for no reason other than that some people want to?

There is absolutely no room for sexual harassment, assault, or anything of the kind in any industry – not just the maritime industry. Policies that codify how it is okay to treat others based on their perceived gender identity does nothing but further the exact culture we are trying to change.

There have recently been words and sentiments shared by members of my community that are inexcusable. I will not stand for being compared to a castrated dog. I will not stand for the hateful comments submitted to this site or expressed on campus, publicly or otherwise. And I will not stand for any administration willing to accept hate.

I am appalled and deeply saddened our “leader”, President Cropper, did not immediately make a statement condemning the words and sentiments expressed by members and “leaders” of our community. Once the hateful sentiments expressed became known it is completely unacceptable and unforgivable for President Cropper to not have immediately written to the campus community condemning them. If he felt it was important enough he would take the time, instead of choosing to remain silent, thus enabling those most deplorable parts of our community. His continued silence tells me he is not my leader.

It is too often those in leadership positions purposely exclude the broader narrative of harassment, rape, and hate prevalent on all the academy campuses. Your actions show you are not determined to understand or take action upon issues, since your actions seek to minimize understanding and knowledge of said issues.

 My message to the disrespectful, transphobic, homophobic, haters remaining silence in cowardice:

I respect your right to have a different opinion than myself. However, if you believe so strongly in your ideas (and the resultant hate some from your community espouse), step up, be a leader, and put your name on it. Help facilitate a respectful discourse that comes from a place of caring, instead of hate. Push those around you to do better and be better in how they treat others. Don’t be afraid to talk about these issues with people like me. Yes you might offend me, but when you come from a place of caring instead of disrespect and hate it makes all the difference in the world. If I can remain respectful and willing to talk about these issues, despite the fact trans folk have been killed across the country for simply being trans, you can to.

My message to those, who like me, were or are afraid to be their true self in the world:

Don’t give up hope. I will do anything in my power to be there for you, to help you, and to ensure you are safe – and I am not alone in the want to be there for you. Over the past week, and especially more recently, I have received overwhelming support from friends, faculty, and strangers, from my campus and from off campus. There are so many people out there who do care about you – the real you. Try and seek out mentors that care and whom you trust. I was terrified before I sailed on my commercial ship, having panic attacks and crying on my drives back to campus, not sure if this industry was right for me if I came out as trans. I sought a trusted mentor on campus, Captain Tamara Burback. She gave me some advice that has gotten me to where I am at today, without which I’d have left my academy long ago:

“In a couple of years you can just BE Sophie and this wont even be a thing. There are MANY people that already love Sophie.”

Her words made me realize that there were people around me who already loved me – the real me – and it didn’t matter to those who truly cared and loved me who I identified as or what my name is. Coming out and being myself in the world has been the hardest, most difficult, stressful, scary, and overwhelming thing I have ever done in my life to date. I couldn’t do it alone. So please, try and seek out those whom you trust and who care about you – the real you. You are not alone, and you are not alone in what you are going through. If nobody else, please know you can reach out to me. You are valued by so many people, and you are so loved.

My message to our so called “leaders” – Academy Presidents, Commandants, and more:

Stop abdicating any responsibility for addressing these issues. It’s beyond time for people in positions like yours to take responsibility instead of shifting the blame to the victims and cadets. You are the current leaders, and it is your duty and responsibility to speak out against all forms of disrespect, discrimination and hate. It is unacceptable to cozy up to those who must be called out, while excluding those who need to be acknowledged and cared for. Acknowledge what victims have gone through is wrong and that they exist – don’t simply allude to their presence and stories. Acknowledge and care for the victims.

On “Ignorance”:

I refuse to let anyone’s “ignorance” put boundaries on my life, what I can accomplish, and who I can be. You do not have a say, and I am not letting you have a say, in my life and who I am. I get to decide who I am, and nobody gets to make that decision for me. This isn’t about bravery, it’s about the ability to be yourself in the world.

What I do stand for is everyone like me. Everyone like me who finds all kinds of hate speech deplorable. What I do stand for is the person afraid to be themselves in the world because of inhuman contempt from their fellow humans. I was that person afraid to be themselves. I stand for that person, and I will do anything in my power to ensure no student has to go through what I continue to go through just to be myself in the world. Bravely should not be required to simply be yourself in the world.

I made this site – http://csumstudentvoice.org/ – in the hope no student has to attend CSU Maritime Academy, or any other college for that matter, feeling the fear I have felt to be my true self with the world. I call on all leaders in the maritime industry, especially at the maritime academies, to strongly speak out against all forms of discrimination, harassment, and hate speech. However, these messages must come from the top; in other words, they themselves, the academies and their Presidents, must stop discriminating, harassing, and hating if they expect cadets and officers to do better.

I call on my campus, the CSU Maritime Academy administration, to do better, be better, and speak out instead of cowering and covering up these issues.

Sophie Scopazzi is a 1/C Deck Cadet at California State University Maritime Academy – Cal Maritime. Her thoughts and opinions are her own.

So why did I create this website?

To help victims be heard.

We all share your frustration. We all share in your pain. We all want to hear your voice.

There is no room for inaction.